So It May Go Well

This morning I was getting breakfast for the girls and they were both in the kitchen squawking and squeaking and I just looked down at them and it was like everything slowed down and I muted them for a moment. All I could hear were the thoughts running through my mind. "I am not fit to be a mom, how will i do this, I'm not succeeding in raising them well, they really need baths, I really need to brush my teeth, I can't believe the Lord entrusted these cute people to me, please help, etc..." You get the point. I know these thoughts I have about myself as a crappy parent are primarily lies, but it's so easy to get sucked into them. It's a daily battle for me to understand that God gave me my children, because He cares for me, because He loves me and knows the desires of my heart. He is allowing me to have time with them, to grow with them, to make mistakes with them and to learn to love Jesus more because Of them.

With that said, my three year old is a fiery girl with a passion for life that growls from her belly. She's passionate when she's happy and passionate when she's upset. She is a handful, a very cute handful. Currently we're in the trenches of teaching her the importance of obedience and respect. Gah, I'm so tired. She is so persistent and determined and it is so very difficult. There are many times I want to throw in the towel, and just let her run rampant. Because it's easier than being consistent. Oh, but we won't let her run rampant, because we desire for her to learn, to learn respect, the importance of grace and to feel secure in the boundaries we give her.
"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  "Honor your father and mother" (this is the first commandment with a promise),  "that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land." Ephesians 6:1-3

I want it to go well with her ( and violet). This is the reason the hubby and I are trying to be consistent and sticking with discipline. Our desire is for our children to feel so secure in the Lord and the boundaries we give them, that they can go out as individuals who are confident in our love for them and God's love and desire for them to have a full understanding of joy.

On Falling

If you follow me on any social network, you probably saw a photo me looking mighty fine with a heating pad resting on my neck.  I know some of you don't know this about me, but I am short, like 5'2 is pushing it, short. So when I was taking photos of the staff at our church yesterday, I naturally climbed up on a chair, not thinking much about it, to get a better angle. As I'm snap, snap, snapping away, all of the sudden I start to feel the chair sliding and before I could say cheese, I saw my life flash before my eyes. Ha! That's a little dramatic, but I did have one of those moments, where you know it's happening, but you feel like you can't do anything to stop it. As I was thinking "oh crap, here we go" my back hit the cement floor, my head bounced and I believe, was kept in tact divinely, without harm, thanks to my top knot. I took a moment to make sure I wasn't bleeding, gathered myself, sat up and checked the damage to my camera (thankfully it was close to none on all accounts).  When I realized all was good, I stood up, threw my hands up like a gymnast (seriously, who does that?) and declared I was OK, trying desperately to save myself from any sort of embarrassment.


As I walked out of the church with an icepack on my head I started recalling the moment I fell and thinking about how it feels to fall. How embarrassed I was, in front of my peers, how hurt I was (or would be in the coming days)! How the same feeling I had as I was falling, is often the one I feel when I'm ashamed. How I'm prone to wonder away or selfishly, just turn away from Jesus and how embarrassed I am when I try and sit up and run back to Him. But even though I am so not worthy of it, He always forgives me, always lets me come back. He loves me. He loves you.

Thanks to a sweet new friend, Amber over at She Shall Thrive, I started a plan to read the bible in one year. So far, and let's be honest, it's been two days, it's going really well. I am bad, bad, bad at being consistent with my readings (ahhh, crap, i'm noticing a trend in my life) and this plan has been good, because well, it's a plan and it tells me what to read. I love reading and being in the word, so I'm going to give it my best to keep going with this plan. I do have some accountability and my husband is doing it too, so that helps! Hear that people? Accountability is good. It's a good thing. Find a friend, a spouse a someone and keep each other accountable, it's a win/win. Anyways, here's the link to the plan. Do it and leave a comment if you're gonna jump on board! God's word is so good. Oh and I just read about the fall of man today. Bah. Ironic much?

Oh and one bonus photo of my hubby falling on his butt too, to prove i'm not the only clumsy one.

2013

How cliche of me. I'm starting a new blog after many failed blogs (due to my lack of blogging), at the beginning of a new year and what's the first post about? Goals! Wahoo!

This time, i'm not sure I'll even share this blog with anyone, I mean, I can't handle letting people down. AND I know you'll all feel let down by me if I don't blog all the time, cause let's face it. I'm such a good blogger, what with my great grammar, and sentence structure and great content. But let's get real. It's not going to happen. I'm not a consistent blogger and I'm ok with that. So if you are in for the occasional ride, let's hit the road!

Onto my goals for the year...

Share Love- I want to love my family, my friends and even strangers like Jesus has loved me. In our society it's easy to get caught up in ourselves. It's not the norm to love other people without conditions. My prayer is that the Joy and Love of Jesus will spill out of me like a stream rushing. I pray I can show more compassion, patience, love (and grace) to all around me this year.

Be Happy- Jesus made us with a passion for happiness, because He too has a passion for happiness, through his own Glory. 2012 has been challenging to me as far as happiness goes. I've had a lot to be happy about, but have felt so bogged down by my own thoughts and worries, that I've had a hard time focusing on the beautiful things the Lord has given me to be happy about. This year, right NOW, I'm committed to focusing my joy on the true source of Joy. Jesus.

Share Gifts- I am stingy. Super stingy. With my time, my talents, my gifts (are those the same thing?). I believe the Lord has blessed me with a few creative talents and I have been quick to hide them and hold them close to me. It's time to let them out, to share God's beauty that He's given ME, in hopes of sharing that beauty (that is not of me) with others. How awesome is that? How humbling is that? Our gifts are not our own to be selfish with. They're God's, to bring Him glory. Totally not cool to be stingy with the Lord's beauty and glory, duh, Penny.

Improve Health- My body is my God's. I need to treat it that way. I need to honor it as it is, a gift that I have the responsibility to care for. Not only for myself, but for my family. My short term goal is to work out 2-3 times a week. My long term goal (within 5 months) is to lose 25lbs by our 5th year anniversary.